I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize