so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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