I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize