i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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