It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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