Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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