someone owes me an orgasm
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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