ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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