Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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