That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize