i think i have two assholes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have fence marks all over my body
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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