Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
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Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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