he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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