the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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