it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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