omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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