Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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