As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
did i just pee glitter
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize