You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize