That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
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I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize