At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A+ Viking dick
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