Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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