I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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