Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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