I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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