You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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