And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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