That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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