So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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