i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize