I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
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On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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