The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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