Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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