dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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