I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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