I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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