your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize