I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize