i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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