You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize