The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize