fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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