My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Randomize
