bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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