well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize