before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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