I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The Olympian is in my bed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize