Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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