What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Rumble strips road head = magical
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize