I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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