I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just google imaged poop.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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