I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
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Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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